Undomestic Goddess
Monday, October 29, 2007 @ 3:32 AM
I screwed my Math and English paper. I was halfway dying in the hall blah blah blah. Conclusion: EXAMINATION SUCKS.
I was so excited that O'level is ending soon that I started to allow myself to indulge in internet, the sims 2 and television. I know, shame on me. BUT, here's the big but, I still study like 2 hours a day, which is acceptable, right?
Aw forget it! Self-consoling is pathetic.
Crap is, I was supposed to study for my math paper 1 yesterday, and I didn't, which resulted in me not knowing how to do the graph question as we were supposed to memorise those silly curves. Which obviously, I can't do. I LOSE 2 BLOODY MARKS!
GOODBYE As.
Ah, you can't really blame me for not studying. I mean, okay, this is what happened last night --
After I've gathered all my maths stuffs on the table, I felt so satisfied and pleased with myself that I believed that I should reward myself with the internet. I was browsing through the net for some good books for me to stuck on to for my oncoming holidays when i saw MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella.
That lousy book which I've been trying very hard to keep on the uppermost top book shelf so that it will never tempt me into reading it before holidays.
After I've seen that page, I peered up onto my book shelf and *heart thumped* there it is. The book was still there staring at me, bright yellow paperback with royal blue fonts "SOPHIE KINSELLA, The Undomestic Goddess". "Shit," I thought to myself, still trying very hard to focus on my internet, planning to even shut my computer down. Then i looked up again. CRAP! That book was still glaring at me, daring me to ignore it, goading me to read it.
With this kind of temptation, who could resist it!? Still, I, Stephanie Juniarta, the girl who has great self-discipline proceeded into shutting down the computer and sat on my comfy corner (customary studying place) and took out my stationeries.*5 minutes had passed*
*10 minutes passed too*
DAMMIT.
I couldn't stand it!! So I walked out, grabbed the book and read it till I was too tired to even study. Past bedtime somemore! And finally slept WITHOUT STUDYING.
Yeah yeah, serves me right.
Still, let me share with you'al my slice of joy.
The book starts with Samantha doing a quiz in a spa centre.
ONE-
Would you consider yourself stressed?
No, I'm not stressed.
I'm... busy. Plenty of people are busy. I have a high-powered job, my career is important to me, and I enjoy it.
OK. So sometimes I do feel a bit tense. But I'm a lawyer in city for God's sake. What do you expect?
My handwriting is pressing so hard into the page, I've torn the paper. Dammit. Never mind. Let's move on to the next question.
On average, how many hours do you spend in the office everyday?
12
8
It depends.
Do you exercise regularly?
I occasionally go swim
I am intending to begin a regular regime of swimming. When I have time. Work's been busy lately, it's a blip.
~~~~~~~~~~
Do you eat regular home-cooked meals?
What does that have to do with anything? What makes "home-cooked" meals superior?
I eat nutritious, varied diet, I write at last.
Which is absolutely true.
Anyway everyone knows the Chinese live longer than we do-so what could be more healthy than to eat their food? And pizza is Mediterranean. It's probably more healthy than a home-cooked meal.
Do you feel your life is balanced?
N
Yes
"I'm done," I announce, and hand the pages back to Maya (the masseuse) , who starts reading through my answers. Her finger is traveling down the paper at a snail's pace. Like we've got all the time in the world.
Which she may well have. But I seriously have to be back in the office by one.
Maya looks up, a thoughtful expression on her face.
"You're obviously quite a stressed-out woman."
What? Where does she get that from? I specifically put on the form, I am not stressed-out.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Well," Maya gets up. She presses a button set in the wall and gentle pan-pipe music fills the air. "All I can say is, you've come to the right place, Samantha. Our aim here is to de-stress, revitalize, and detoxify."
"Lovely," I say only half listening. I've just remembered that I never got back to David Elldridge about the Ukrainian oil contract. I meant to call him yesterday. Shit.
"Our aim is to provide a haven of tranquility, away from all your day-to-day worries." Maya presses another button in the wall, and the light dims to a muted glow. "Before we start," she says softly, "do you have any questions?"
"Actually I do." I lean forward.
"Good!" she beams. "Are you curious about today's treatments, or is it something more general?"
"Could I possibly send a quick e-mail?"
Maya's smile freezes on her face.
"Just quickly," I add. "It won't take two secs-"
"Samantha, Samantha," Maya shakes her head. "You're here to relax. To take a moment for yourself. Not to send e-mails. E-mail's an obsession! An addiction! As evil as alcohol. Or caffeine."
For goodness sake, I'm not obsessed. I mean, that's ridiculous. I check my e-mails about once every... thirty seconds, maybe.
The thing is, a lot can change in thirty seconds.
"And besides Samantha," Maya goes on. "Do you see a computer in this room?"
"No," I reply, obediently looking around the dim little room, at posters of yoga positions and a wind chime and a row of crystals arranged on the windowsill.
"This is why we ask that you leave all electronic equipment in the safe. No mobile phones are permitted. No little computers." Maya spreads her arm. "This is a retreat. An escape from the world."
"Right." I nod meekly.
Now is probably not the time to reveal that I have a BlackBerry hidden in my paper knickers.
~~~~~~~~~~
I edge the BlackBerry up onto my chest until I can see just the screen underneath the towel. Thanks goodness this room is so dim. Trying to keep my movements to a minimum, I furtively start typing an e-mail with one hand.
"Relaax..." Maya is saying in soothing tones. "Imagine you're walking along a beach..."
"Uh huh..." I murmur.
David, I'm typing. Re ZFN oil contract. I read through amendments. Feel our response should be
"What are you doing?" says Maya, suddenly alert
"Nothing!" I say hastily shoving the BlackBerry back under the towel. "Just.. er.. relaxing."
Maya comes round the couch and looks at the bump in the towel where I'm clutching the BlackBerry.
"Are you hiding something?" she says in disbelief.
"No!"
From under the towel the BlackBerry emits a little bleep. Damn.
"I think that was a car," I say trying to sound casual.
"Outside in the street."
~~~~~~~~~~
Hah! Sophie Kinsella is my favourite chick-lit books author =) Wanna read on? Just grab the book at your nearest bookstore ^^
