goodbye girlfriend
Tuesday, December 09, 2008 @ 11:37 AM
On the plane from Indonesia to Seattle, I was having a mixed emotion; hesitant, down, yet excited at the same time. I had a lot of thoughts, to how my school was going to be, to how I would adjust to my new family, and preeminently, to how I am going to survive without my best friend.
When I arrived here, I was greeted by that cheerful girl, whom I had been friends since 3 years ago, Richie*. She was never very close to me, but deep down inside I know I want to treasure her, for she had been my closer friend when I first came to Seattle. She and I, we had so much in common, and like everyone else, I thought that she would be my best friend. During my finals, she was there to help me, during her boredom, I would be there to accompany her.
That is until Lily* came. Lily and I were never that close, she however, was one outgoing person. She talked to everyone, she laughed with everyone, and she danced with anyone. Despite many people's dislike, I tried to be her friend. I wanted to spend more time with her because I want to discover her more. For I thought, behind every person like that, a part of them is lonely, somehow. The first step to that closure was, I thought to ask her to church, for that is how Richie and myself became close friends.
I knew I was drifting apart from Richie, but I did not know how much until I came back from Los Angeles from a 1 week vacation. She never tells me anything, she did not even text me as often as she used to. The furthest we went was chatting in msn and a casual greet. I was confused, and at the same time worried. But soon, people of all sort started telling me things I do not want to hear.
Basically, Lily had a thing for my boyfriend (then, not yet mine), and as far as I know, she told people all sorts of thing. One of them was an implication that I was the one who's ga-ga over him. Another was that I only treated him like how I treated my guy-friend. The thing is, she hardly knows me, in fact, she knows NOTHING about me. And to top it all, Richie was influenced by all of these.
Knowing this fact, I was at first perturbed. Here I was, trying to pull the friendship back, apologizing every single time I thought I offended her, asking how she is doing despite her cold reply, and there she was, letting it loose, drifting apart by every judgement she concluded, alienating through every word she heard.
Yesterday my friend, Polly* told me, "true friends do not listen to other's words."
I came across a quote that I vaguely remember, it mentioned, "indeed she was a friend, but that was then for now it's end."
I want to mark this day through this entry, for you... are not worth it anymore.
